The Difference Maker.

Something massive has been a weight on my heart. How we receive and perceive the ways of the Lord. It's real! Like oh I got a problem, God will take control. It's not that easy when the problem gets bigger and consistent. The problem only becomes another problem on top of the first problem you already had. It's so real. The last month have been real for me. The struggle to love, to follow, to remain faithful (to Christ), and continue to trust him has been a non-stop BATTLE ! It's been such an unfair  BATTLE.  The kind where the opponent has a machete and I got a blow up sword. The Battle against the enemy has been one filled with:                 You can't achieve                 You won't                 You aren't The story of my life seems to have a close comparison to the story of Job. A man who lives an innocent life with a wife and children....

If you asked me how my day was going yesterday, I would of made the face of a snarling wolf. Today was not the best day in the world, but as I think back on my day I can tell you where I went wrong in the day. First off I wore the world's most uncomfortable shoes for walking across a college campus. Next I styled my hair wrong, so I looked as if I was the missing cousin of the Bride of Frankenstein. Yikes! They day continues to unravel by ignoring the comment that my mother made. "Start the day off with the Lord, don't let the enemy steal your joy...... Yeahhhhhhh. That's where I went wrong. I just completely let my heart and my patience's for the Lord flake away. Probably shouldn't have done that. Instead I was in a bad mood for the rest of the day, I realized I left my laptop at home and I had ranch dressing coating my entire lunchbox. I was ill tempered and anxious. Now that's a life of a Christian girl that doesn't get talked about. We only ...

The human race should be ashamed of ourselves sometimes. I say this because because we tend to speak the word of God and adore his love; however, this quickly fades when life seems to be full of blessings.   It makes no sense, after you begin to receive God's daily salvation. You slowly stop falling to your knees to thank him. Stop worshiping him often. Stop posting inspirational Instagram post about how good He is to you. This doesn't mean you aren't a Christian, but your need for God seems to sway in and out.   I just am amazed by the way people talk about Jesus. I see this through social media so much. So many people have hit rock bottom in their life, so the need for the Lord increases. When life gets better, God slowly fades out of the picture. Instantly, the weaknesses of the human race makes an appearance. God tends to makes his way back into your life.  God always allows us to feel the frailty of human love so we'll appreciate the strength...

I feel as though I am a 22 years old, I struggle to keep up with today's world.  I just got the memo that those chokers were in style. Or was that only for 2016? I struggle keeping up All these sayings of a new year and changing things about yourself. Why? I don't understand why someone would wait until the new year to change something that they don't like. Or why wait until the new year to start a new diet? Why wait for a new year to "get right with the Lord"? All these things just make me wonder. Why are there more post about how 2017 will be better for you?  Did God not send his son down on Earth to walk this world, and take on the bad for 2015, 2016, 2017....? Did he not bare the same of your sins? Shouldn't a new year, be another year to elevate yourself in God's kingdom and to reach out and create disciples? The apostle Paul went to churches to tell them the good news. Of course they had questioned when he left, so he wrote them back ...

Wear a uniform. Tuck in the shirt. Wear a belt. Never forget your name tag. Closed toe shoes only. Clock in and out on time. Talk to people with respect. Understand the mission. Understand that you have superiors. Listen to your boss. Don't show up late without a good reason. Don't call out sick if it isn't important. What if I am actually sick? It's about teamwork. Who is apart of the team?  Don't say things on social media. Don't post on social media. Don't talk about work outside of work. If you use your phone on the clock then you are in trouble. Greet your boss with a smile. Always carry yourself respectful outside of work. Don't hang around someone older than you, they don't have good intentions. This isn't a job but an investment. Then how come I only make minimum wage?  You work hard, then you will be rewarded. Don't be a bad seed. Don't have a vision because you aren't really important you are just a little man. Don't wor...

I am a struggling Christian with a struggling Lordship to a powerful God. I am a 22 year old woman, who is struggling to keep up with the daily grind. I am a daughter who tends to forget to be thankful. I am a struggling sister, who forgets to say I am proud of you. I am church member who forgets to tithe every Sunday. I am a loved girlfriend who forgets to be more appreciative of the little things. I am a struggling friend who breaks commitments at times. I am truly just a HOTMESS! I also am a daughter of Christ who is forgiven..... I want to be perfect in every area of my life, so that means I buy whiteboards to keep track with my weekly bible verses and weekly "to do list." I am the girl that buys two planners for a school year and plans everything out. I tend to spend more than I have because I need to do all things and be involved with everything. Sometimes I feel that when I confess with my mouth that I am broken maybe a week later I could get it together. Jokes on ...

Becoming a planter and having a green thumb isn't something easy to do. I remember house sitting for a family last year. They said that there is a garden that I need to water twice a day, especially, the greens that they worked so hard. The commitment to house sitting that I strive to be was a very hands on learning experience. Every morning before the sun peaks, you need to water the plants or else the leaves on the vegetables would burn. To be honest, the first day I failed to water them by noon, and later on that evening the tips of the vegatable leaves were light - colored brown.... NO! NO! I didn't kill the plants but obviously I didn't water the garden correctly. Lesson learned. The next day I got it right. I watered the plants on time and so on and so on through the entire week. I did good. Food for thought [punny ] This reminds me of how Jesus tells a parable of the farmer sowing seeds. The way he places his seeds in the paths and on the rockys and on good so...

There's nothing greater than learning to ride a bike - now maybe graduating Highschool or college, meeting your soulmate, or putting on your onyx ring, or purchasing your first car, or owning your first home. Those things could be better than riding a bike but to a child. Learning to ride a bike is probably the most gratifying thing ever in this world. I was about 5 or 6 when I learned how to ride a bike. White bike with pink details on the front and the seat with those sparkly tassels on the ends. My bike also had training wheels. One on each side! I remember riding that bike like a pro! However, I mist give credit where credit is due, Thank God for training wheels, Amen! Without them my balance would have been completely off and riding down the sidewalk would be nearly impossible. That moment when you are extremely good (or decent in my case) at riding a bike with training wheels and when those things come off, instantly we graduate into big kid world. We can handle it! That...

I remember Junior year of Highschool deciding I wanted to run track. That's funny because I thought I was going to be a track star one day, I thought I had speed and I can keep up with all the other girls on the team. One day for practice, we had run 300 meter dash. (The only thing I truly enjoyed about track was running those corners/curves, boy you couldn't tell me I wasn't a true track star) in reality I was terrified of track, especially the meets, I was a hurdle jumper and the day of the meets I would have serve panic attacks and say I couldn't do it. However, as soon as I would hear the gun fire, I would take off running!  Now that I ran off on a tangent. Back to the hot day of track practice. Oh my, it had be 85 to 90 degrees outside that day. And well I decided to wear a hoodie and spandex for practice. I remember our coach was being intense on practice that day. Man, I wanted the coach to be proud! That wasn't the case. I remember running a 300 dash fo...

I'm being awakend by Jesus, opening my eyes to the bigger picture that he is trying to show me, instead of the minuscule details. Or as author Anne Graham Lotz would put it : " There is one true, living God who created all things and who controls all things - a God who has chosen to reveal Himself to you and to me. We just need to wake up and open our eyes to Him."  What awesome and inspiring words that doesn't move me, but the details of the book and what it truly means to see God  is what helps my eyes be readjusted and opened to his glory and majesty.  That's why this page was a titleless entry. God provides the title to every adventure we face in life whether its something that makes you jump for joy or brings you to your knees with tears. He provides a title that leads to a ending that is predestined. You can chose to write lines or fill lines with the ones instructed by the creator of all things because he is good. Now do you see God  in the daily bur...

Up. Down. Jump. Duck. Dodge. You know all those game systems that have all those buttons that can make a game do cool stuff like jump up or duck and tuck in roll! I remember being about 15 or 16 and. My big brother having that game "call of duty" playing that game. What a rush. Wanting to beat my brothers and have the best kill streak, over time the more I played the better I could memorize the buttons, the better I got, the higher my kill streak went.  I would go and show off how cool I was at it. I wish everyday can be like that. The way God can show off and be an amazing gamer and allow him to control over my life, telling me when to turn towards him, jump for worship and praise, dodge the evil that comes against me, and crawl on my knees for his mercy. What kinda of video game is that.  The type of game, where it shows that Jesus is in control over your life.  Proverbs 19:21 | "  Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of t...

Now I took a break... A long overdue break from my blog. There's a lot of reasons why, but none can explain why I haven't been so thankful for what Jesus does every single day. Constantly. His constant love be and grace and mercy. These past couple months... Boy can I list all of the mistakes, disappointments, upsets, and tears that have been shed but that's not why I blog nor is that something I want to talk about. I've realized that through the tears of unhappiness. The one C on my finals that I earned. The new roads I decide to pave for my life... God doesn't stop loving me nor does he say I'll love you any less. He doesn't one day decide to give me a teaspoon of his love rather than giving arms full. It's a constant love. It's a crazy love he gives with unending amounts of it. That never stops and never holds back the amount. Knowing that Jesus is exactly who he says he is.  So let's relate back to the title: "New Year, Same ...

Humans like flying. I love flying. However, the title is called boarding pass , it's not about my experience of boarding a plane sadly. It's all about God's layout for the people in our lives. I am so thankful for Jesus today. He really has opened my eyes up to the work he doing in our lives. It's kinda cool how we can experience the Holy Spirit throughout our lives, on a day to day basis. I love that! I think that God is the coolest person around, amiright? Okay, now that I am done ranting, let's talk foreal. Galatians 1: 10 | " Am I now seeking human approval or God's approval? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still pleasing people, I would not be a servant of Christ."  Ever noticed how people broad plans, they go straight to the seat that they have been assigned. Store their luggage and get ready for the ride. What if you took all of the people that are contributing or pulling you away from something in your life on that p...

You know those games you played when you are little. I do! I do! I remember being aroud six or seven years old, at the end of the day before it was time to go home. My class would go outside and play Red Light, Green Light and Mother May I; How I loved going outside, one reason being I was always going to be the line leader because of my staggering height and two reason being that I was extremely competitive and I always wanted to win. When we played these games, especially, Red Light, Green Light I would move so fast on a Green Light and freeze as quick as a flash on red light because I didn't want to ever lose. It was always standing in so quirky pose as the other classmate would scan the playing field for any sudden movements. UGHHH that was the hardest part of the game, yet the most rewarding part when they cannot send to restart because you held your pose so well. What if we played Red Light, Green light in our lives? How cool would it be to constantly be moving, moving, m...

I remember growing up and watching Power Puff Girls, The Cosby Show, Sabrina the Teenage Witch, and That's so Raven. Oh those were the days, when children television show had morals, passion and love behind them. Every episode had a deep rooted meaning behind it. Like the show That's so Raven, there was always a lesson to be learned at the end of each episode. The story in John 8 comes to mind. The adulterous woman who was facing death, but then Jesus came and said "If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her" ( John 8:7). Every stone dropped to the ground. Here's the kicker, Jesus said to the woman she should go an live sinless. LESSON LEARNED.  Isn't there always a lesson at the end of a story. Something that can always be taught from the trials that happen in our lives. Isn't that how God works? Wouldn't be cool after every thing you face, good or bad in life, God can just lay his hand on your shoulder and say,...

A couple of weeks ago, I went to church, I came home from church and did bible study with someone. I cried because I told them that my heart was heavy and the Lord is preparing us for something. We prayed on it, but did we constantly pray on it? That answer is just what is expected, NO! I said to them, the Lord is preparing us for a storm these next couple months, it's our chose to be prepared for it. This isn't the first time God weighed on my heart to reveal himself to me. It's simple though, he is placing his word on me, and I keep getting my job wrong. I keep thinking that I need to speak about one day, pray on it one day, then it will be taken care of. Jokes on me! That's not how it works, and I am slowly realizing this. I am forgetting the most important step. 1 Thessalonians 5: 17 - 18 | "pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances for this is God's will for you." Whaattttt! I swell up with tears, let me tell you! Jesus is awesome. He w...

I want to tell a little story. My first summer working as a camp counselor we had to do staff training nights, where we would sit and listen to people speak about the awesomeness that is summer camp. Also we would hear radical words about how great camp is. Sometimes during training we do songs and games, which is my favorite part. One day during training, we were learning all about archery the importance of safety, and we even got to shoot some arrows! Oh Lord, let me tell you that I am not Katniss Everdeen. I remember standing, looking straight at the target, the bullseye, and missing completely. Maybe my aim was too high or too low, but I know the intended target was missed. That's how we treat our faith sometimes, we miss the mark.   The Target: Glory of God  The Arrows: Faith & Worship We say that God is at the center of our lives, and we want to give complete trust, faith, and worship over to him. Just sometimes we miss the mark. We may think that we are ai...

Sometime the word change can be looked at in a negative light. However, allow me to highlight the true change when the gospel is at hand. Change:: v || to make radically different  TO MAKE RADICALLY DIFFERENT     If you could triple underline the word radical, then this is the time to do so. Self change is a selfish act to produce a RADICAL outcome. I am a someone who is changed and am still changing as the day ticks forward on the clock. I would rather be moving forward into change not because society calls us to it, but because God is calling me to discipleship. Change becomes selfless when the gospel is involved. Only if you are seeking a radical difference in your heart, the change of love. To love not yourself, but to love the one who created all things.  Someone said to me "wow, you've changed." I gave no response, I missed the window of opportunity. What I should have replied and said was, "yes, I did change, and I will continue to change, not int...

Thankful that I have friends, who can truly pull at my heart strings, that will remind me that God is at the center, always and forever. Driving with the windows down yesterday. A dear friend of mine played this song called Difference Maker. The Difference Maker. It was the sweetest of melodies, it's like for a split second, Jesus was sitting right in the passengers seat smiling at me while we drove in silence; no sounds except the sounds of this song. What is a difference maker? I am glad that you asked! It is someone who is willing to allow God to interfere with their lives, to tell them that what you think you are doing isn't what you ought to be doing. Someone who's willing to be afflicted by Christ, die in Sin, but then rise to the Cross. A Difference Maker is someone who fixes their eyes on Jesus, who is full of glory, grace, and mercy. 1 Peter 5:2 | "Be shepherds of God's flock that is under your care, watching over them--not because you must, but b...

Lord, You know my deepest sin The secrets I’ve been keeping in This fight is harder than I ever thought it’d be Oh, God I need Your grace To finally be set free Create in me a clean heart Fill me with Your spirit, God Wake my soul to thirst for You alone For You alone Lord, I’m wounded and worn out Every day a battleground This fight is harder than I ever thought it’d be Oh, God I need Your grace To finally be set free Prone to wander, Lord I feel it Prone to leave the God, the God I love Here’s my heart, Lord, take and seal it Seal it for Thy courts, Thy courts above  I always write words that then correlate back to the word of God. This time I just want to drive the word home. Hit at the heart, the heart that thirst for Christ. I realized that I have been quick to jump to assumptions lately, think in a doubtful manner, and fill with upset and frustration. I haven't missed something, but I have been getting so wrapped up in worldly things...